WidowPie

Immediately following Drew's accident I was in survival mode. The unexpectedness of Drew's death threw me in to such shock I can't even remember many parts of those first months. I don't remember places I drove, getting the flu, cleaning out his office, Im sure there are lots of other things I could list but I don't remember them. They say stress can cause your mind to shut down in order to protect itself. Mine must have done just that to keep me from going crazy. Somehow, with the help of my friends and family, things got done. There was food on the table. The girls were happy and cared for. The paper work was started (although I still have to call my dear friend Joey to ask him about investments from that time, decisions we made, that I just don't remember). I guess this is what they refer to as "Widow's fog." When the shock started to wear off (it wasn't gone, by far, but it lessened). I think I was in denial. I was an outsider looking in a

A conversation with God I miss him.  I know. I want someone to love me. I love you. I want someone to talk to.   Talk to me. I want someone to spend time with.  Spend time with me. I loved him so much. Love me. Love yourself. He loved me so much.  I love you more. He was my number one and I was his.   I am your number one and you are mine. I thought these things while driving in my car one day and I heard theses replies as near as day. *I meant to type "as clear as day" but a typo made it say "near" and that applies too. So, I left it. I miss being the first person he calls when he had exciting (or even bad) news. I miss going on golf cart rides and listening to him play music so loud that when we stopped to talk to neighbors I couldn't hear what they were saying. I miss his hugs and his smile.  I miss so many things and I always will. But, I think the things I miss most, the things I crave, like love, conversation, and time